today marks the day that i am with him for 10 months and 2 days .. but to me it seems like we have been together for a very long time .. been good all this while not much arguments and quarrels which is a good thing =) love him to the bits, he never fail to make me smile each time i see him ..
10 reasons why i love him:
1) his tickles; though sometimes his tickles is like pinching and it hurts but i still enjoy it =P
2) when he hugs me to sleep, it feel so warmth and i feel so protected (:
3) when he kiss me on my forehead, to me it feels so good (:
4) he always fetch me home after work no matter how tired is he (:
5) his licks; yeahs he is very sicko at times especially when he licks my nostrils whahahahahahahahahas =X
6) his shoulder; always there for me to lean on when i am sad or happy or even when i am sleepy =X
7) his body scent; he always smell so good except when he smokes then that's an exception ..
8) his listening ear; he always listens to my complains and whining (:
9) his simple messages; never fails to cheer me up (:
10) and of cos the love and care he showers on me (:

I LOVE MY MR TAN !

work have been fine though it was damn busy on monday but thank god i had my rest day on tuesday and wednesday .. i will be strong and hang on ! i am not those who will give up easily though at times i am really on the verge of giving up ..it's okies i always tell msyelf tmr will be a better day (:

i know i am not the only one who regret being bonded there are ppl out there thinking the same as me .. well well just got to perservere what to do .. and have to learn to love my job though i feel it's difficult but i shall try .. yeahs i am always making wrong choices in my life including this but i feel there is no use regretting over it cos' there's no more turning back of time =( i have been crying for no reasons guess i am just pms-ing as usual but crying and saying everything out makes me feel better thats the way i ventilate my feelings .. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this question have been in my mind 24/7 ever since i started work-''why am i so dumb to be even bonded?'' this is the question in my mind which i cannot get rid off .. work is so stressful really damn stressful =( i keep telling myself if i can turn back time i wouldnt have signed that bloody bond so that i can have the freedom to quit this damn job .. nursing is really a super T-O-U-G-H job !~ i'm so scared on one fine day i might get into depression .. i am so dreaded to go to work .. i told my mummy if you strike lottery and win 30k please give me the money i will go and break my bond immediately =( .. baby ask me not to be silly cos i don't have the money to pay them back and yeahs i have to tolerate the stress that i am facing everyday and slog for another 3 yrs thats so horrible ! people surrounding me keep telling me that 3 yrs will fly past us very fast one but they don't know the feeling of waiting for 3 yrs to fly pass is actually very tough !

but i keep telling myself after 3 yrs i might look back and say ''thank god i didnt give up that easily cos' i've got 3 yrs of experience now and other organizations will be willing to employ me'' .. i chatted with june on sunday and i am so envy of her .. her work is not stressful, she have fun colleagues, good bosses and her pay is like so sky high ! i told her she should be grateful that her mum didnt allow her to bond hahas .. i told her i am not enjoying what i am doing now but the passion for nursing is still there though .. she said ''ren'' for 3 yrs very fast over one .. yeahs i 've got no choice but to tolerate for 3 yrs and get out of the place .. i prefer working in private clinic cos you dont have to face unreasonable family members who think they are always right ! and and and it's office hours and i get my saturdays and sundays off (: well well well i shall just serve my 3 yrs bond faithfully for now but may god bless me so i won't end up in IMH or going into depression =(

afterall, i still wish i have 30K with me right now so i can break my damn bond ! (but dream on)

arrrgghhh baby is away from SG, right now he is enjoying life at china guangzhou ! though it's not some fascinated place i will go but how i wish i can be there to be with him .. sadly, i am in SG working =( it's so tiring to work gosh ! everytime i am morning shift i will be skipping break times and toilet times .. i think one day i will get UTI and gastritis =X i was telling ting after 3 damn years i am getting out of the hospital ! i don't want to stress myself up hahas .. i want to work in private clinics which is office hours but oh wells who knows what the future brings ~

4 more days for him to be back ! the day when he's back i am working noon shift +_+ thought of fetching him from airport but don't think i can do so .. shall just endure till wednesday to meet him =(

*sadded* and i am missing you like crazy baby boy !
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