this question have been in my mind 24/7 ever since i started work-''why am i so dumb to be even bonded?'' this is the question in my mind which i cannot get rid off .. work is so stressful really damn stressful =( i keep telling myself if i can turn back time i wouldnt have signed that bloody bond so that i can have the freedom to quit this damn job .. nursing is really a super T-O-U-G-H job !~ i'm so scared on one fine day i might get into depression .. i am so dreaded to go to work .. i told my mummy if you strike lottery and win 30k please give me the money i will go and break my bond immediately =( .. baby ask me not to be silly cos i don't have the money to pay them back and yeahs i have to tolerate the stress that i am facing everyday and slog for another 3 yrs thats so horrible ! people surrounding me keep telling me that 3 yrs will fly past us very fast one but they don't know the feeling of waiting for 3 yrs to fly pass is actually very tough !

but i keep telling myself after 3 yrs i might look back and say ''thank god i didnt give up that easily cos' i've got 3 yrs of experience now and other organizations will be willing to employ me'' .. i chatted with june on sunday and i am so envy of her .. her work is not stressful, she have fun colleagues, good bosses and her pay is like so sky high ! i told her she should be grateful that her mum didnt allow her to bond hahas .. i told her i am not enjoying what i am doing now but the passion for nursing is still there though .. she said ''ren'' for 3 yrs very fast over one .. yeahs i 've got no choice but to tolerate for 3 yrs and get out of the place .. i prefer working in private clinic cos you dont have to face unreasonable family members who think they are always right ! and and and it's office hours and i get my saturdays and sundays off (: well well well i shall just serve my 3 yrs bond faithfully for now but may god bless me so i won't end up in IMH or going into depression =(

afterall, i still wish i have 30K with me right now so i can break my damn bond ! (but dream on)